网上有关“英文幽默故事”话题很是火热，小编也是针对英文幽默故事寻找了一些与之相关的一些信息进行分析，如果能碰巧解决你现在面临的问题，希望能够帮助到您。

① 英语幽默故事

Peter

dozed

off

while

his

teacher

was

talking.

老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。

Teacher:

Peter！Tell

us,

what's

the

biggest

in

the

world?

老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什么最大？

Peter:

Well,

well....eyelids....

彼得:

嗯……嗯……眼皮……

Teacher:

What？Eyelids？

老师：什么？眼皮？

Peter:

Yes,

sir.

Because

as

soon

as

I

shut

my

eyes,

the

eyelids

cover

everything

of

the

world.

彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了

Late

one

night

at

the

insane

asylum

(疯人院）one

inmate

shouted,

"I

am

Napoleon!"

Another

one

said,

"How

do

you

know?"

The

first

inmate

said,

"God

told

me!"

Just

then,

a

voice

from

another

room

shouted,

"I

did

not!"

疯人院

一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说："我是拿破仑！"另一个说："你怎么知道？"第一个人说："上帝对我说的！"一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来："我没说！"

② 英文幽默故事

Marriage Proposal to Bernard Shaw

Once a beautiful and dissolute British actress wrote to propose marriage to Bernard Shaw． She said she did not mindBernard Shaw's old age and ugliness because he was a genius． And if they could bine the beauty of the woman with the talents of the great man，that would be greatly harmonious． “With your wisdom and my appearance，our children must be perfect．”

Bernard Shaw answered，in a letter，that her imagination wassplendid，“But，what if the children take my appearance and yourwisdom？”

向肖伯纳求婚

英国有位美貌风流的女演员，曾写信向肖伯纳求婚。她说，因为他是个天才，她不嫌肖伯纳年迈丑陋。假如能使女郎的美貌和超人的天才结合，那该是多么协调啊。“咱们的后代有你的智慧和我的美貌，那一定是十全十美了。”

肖伯纳给她回了一封信说，她的想象很是美妙，“可是，假如生下的孩子外貌象我，而智慧又象你，那又该怎么办呢？”

③ 英语简短幽默故事

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

Q: What's the difference beeen a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you enty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

昂贵的代价

牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？

牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了。

④ 英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译）

Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter?

为什么大象不玩电脑？

A: He’s afraid of the mouse!

他害怕老鼠！

鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。

mouse [ma?s]n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人

2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。

"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."

"Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.

一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。

“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”

“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。

3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.

He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."

"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.

他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."

医生说:"我怕他已经死了."

听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."

妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"

And God says: "A penny".

Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"

And God says: "a second",

Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"

And God says "In a second".

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.

他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"

上帝回答:"一便士."

男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"

上帝说:"一秒钟."

最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"

上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

⑤ 英语幽默故事

Delicious！

A Hollywood procer was determined to give his mothera birthday gift that would be better than any his brothers weregiving her． He heard about an amazing bird which could talk inelve languages and sing ten famous operas． He immediately bought the bird and sent it to his mother． It cost him＄50，000．

The day after her birthday，he phoned his mother．“What did you think of the bird， Mother？” he asked eagerly．His mother replied，“Delcious！”

说的是一个人花了很多钱买了一只鸟，送给他妈妈，过了一时间儿子问他鸟怎么样，他妈妈说“很美味！”

呵呵~~

字数不够自己加点啦

⑥ 英语简短幽默故事

talking

clock

会说话的钟

while

proudly

showing

off

his

new

apartment

to

friends,

a

college

student

led

the

way

into

the

den.

"what

is

the

big

brass

gong

and

hammer

for?"

one

of

his

friends

asked.

"that

is

the

talking

clock,"

the

man

replied.

"how's

it

work?"

"watch,"

the

man

said

and

proceeded

to

give

the

gong

an

ear

shattering

pound

with

the

hammer.

suddenly,

someone

screamed

from

the

other

side

of

the

wall,

"knock

it

off,

you

idiot!

it's

o

o'clock

in

the

morning!"

一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这 *** ！现在是凌晨两点钟了！”

参考资料：

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⑦ 英语幽默小故事

Once o hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"

两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”

⑧ 英文版的幽默故事（不要太长）

Nail

or

Fly?

An

old

gentleman

whose

eyesight

was

failing

came

to

stay

in

a

hotel

room

with

a

bottle

of

wine

in

each

hand.

On

the

wall

there

was

a

fly

which

he

took

for

a

nail.

So

the

moment

he

hung

them

on,

the

bottles

fell

broken

and

the

wine

spilt

all

over

the

floor.

When

a

waitress

discovered

what

had

happened,

she

showed

deep

sympathy

for

him

and

decided

to

do

him

a

favour.

So

the

next

morning

when

he

was

out

taking

a

walk

in

the

roof

garden,

she

hammered

a

nail

exactly

where

the

fly

had

stayed.

Now

the

old

man

entered

is

room.

The

*** ell

of

the

spilt

wine

reminded

him

of

the

accident.

When

he

looked

up

at

the

wall,

he

found

the

fly

was

there

again!

He

walked

to

it

carefully

adn

slapped

it

with

all

his

strength.

On

hearing

a

loud

cry,

the

kind-hearted

waitress

rushed

in.

To

er

great

surprise,

the

poor

old

man

was

there

sitting

on

the

floor,

his

teeth

clenched

and

his

right

hand

bleeding!

钉子还是苍蝇?

一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。

于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。

这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。

寻找一篇乌鸦喝水的故事（英文版）。

1、《文天祥少年正气》

南宋末年著名的民族英雄文天祥少年时生活困苦，在好心人的帮助下才有机会读书。

Wen Tianxiang, a famous national hero in the late Southern Song Dynasty, lived in hardship when he was a teenager, and only with the help of good-hearted people did he have the opportunity to read.

一次，文天祥被有钱的同学误会是小偷，他据理力争，不许别人践踏自己的尊严，终于证明了自己的清白，而且通过这件事，更加树立了文天祥金榜题名的志向。

Once, Wen Tianxiang was misunderstood as a thieves by wealthy classmates. He argued that he was not allowed to be trampled on his dignity, and finally proved his innocence. Through this incident, Wen Tianxiang's ambition to be named in the gold roll was set up.

2、《陈平忍辱苦读书》

陈平西汉名相，少时家贫，与哥哥相依为命。

Chen Ping, a famous minister in the Western Han Dynasty, lived in poverty when he was young and depended on his brother.?

为了秉承父命，光耀门庭，不事生产，闭门读书，却为大嫂所不容，为了消弭兄嫂的矛盾，面对一再羞辱，隐忍不发。

In order to uphold his father's fate, glorify his family, do not produce and study behind closed doors, he was not tolerated by his sister-in-law. In order to eliminate the contradiction between his brother and sister-in-law, he faced repeated humiliation and hiding.

随着大嫂的变本加厉，终于忍无可忍，出走离家，欲浪迹天涯，被哥哥追回后，又不计前嫌，阻兄休嫂，在当地传为美谈。

With the increasing cost of his sister-in-law, he finally could not bear to leave home, wandering around the world, was recovered by his brother, regardless of past suspicions, to stop his brother and sister-in-law, in the local spread as a beautiful talk.?

终有一老着，慕名前来，免费收徒授课，学成后，辅佐刘邦，成就了一番霸业。

Eventually, as an old man, Muming came to teach free apprenticeship. After learning, he assisted Liu Bang and achieved some hegemonic career.

3、《陆羽弃佛从文》

唐朝著名学者陆羽，从小是个孤儿，被智积禅师抚养长大。

Lu Yu, a famous scholar in the Tang Dynasty, was raised by Zen Master Zhiji as an orphan.?

陆羽虽身在庙中，却不愿终日诵经念佛,而是喜欢吟读诗书。陆羽执意下山求学，遭到了禅师的反对。

Although Lu Yu was in the temple, he did not want to recite Buddhist sutras and chant Buddhas all day long, but preferred to recite poetry and books. Lu Yu persisted in going downhill to study, which was opposed by Zen master.

禅师为了给陆羽出难题，同时也是为了更好地教育他，便叫他学习冲茶。

In order to solve Lu Yu's problems and educate him better, Zen Master asked him to learn how to make tea.?

在钻研茶艺的过程中，陆羽碰到了一位好心的老婆婆，不仅学会了复杂的冲茶的技巧，更学会了不少读书和做人的道理。

In the process of studying tea art, Lu Yu met a kind wife. She not only learned the complicated skills of making tea, but also learned a lot of principles of reading and being a man.

当陆羽最终将一杯热气腾腾的苦丁茶端到禅师面前时，禅师终于答应了他下山读书的要求。后来，陆羽撰写了广为流传的《茶经》，把祖国的茶艺文化发扬光大!

When Lu Yu finally brought a cup of steaming Kuding tea to Zen Master, Zen Master finally agreed to his request to go down to study. Later, Lu Yu wrote the widely circulated "Tea Classic" to carry forward the tea culture of the motherland.

4、《少年包拯学断案》

包拯包青天，自幼聪颖，勤学好问，尤喜推理断案，其家父与知县交往密切，包拯从小耳濡目染，学会了不少的断案知识。

Bao Zheng Bao Qingtian was smart, diligent and inquisitive since childhood. He especially liked reasoning and judging cases. His father had close contact with Zhixian County. Bao Zheng learned a lot of knowledge about judging cases from childhood.

尤其在焚庙杀僧一案中，包拯根据现场的蛛丝马迹，剥茧抽丝。

Especially in the case of burning temples and killing monks, Bao Zheng, according to the spider tracks on the scene, stripped cocoons and drew silk.?

排查出犯罪嫌疑人后，又假扮阎王，审清事实真相，协助知县缉拿凶手，为民除害。

After identifying the suspects, he pretended to be the King of Yan and tried to find out the truth, helping Zhixian to arrest the murderers and kill the people.?

他努力学习律法刑理知识，为长大以后断案如神，为民伸冤，打下了深厚的知识基础。

He worked hard to learn the knowledge of law and punishment, and laid a solid knowledge foundation for judging cases and defending people's grievances when he grew up.

5、《林则徐对联立志》

林则徐小时候就天资聪慧，两次机会下，作了两幅对联，这两幅对联表达了林则徐的远大志向。

When Lin Zexu was a child, he was talented and wise. He made two couplets under two opportunities. These two couplets expressed Lin Zexu's ambition.?

林则徐不仅敢于立志，而且读书刻苦，长大后成就了一番大事业，受到了后世的敬仰。

Lin Zexu not only dared to make a decision, but also studied hard. When he grew up, he made great achievements and was admired by later generations.

简短的英文版童话故事有哪些?

乌鸦喝水的故事（英文版）：

Onesummer,thecrow'shometownwasverydry.Hecouldnotfindwatereverywhere.Thecrowdecidedtomovetoanewplace,wheretheremustbeaclearstream.Thecrowflewforalongtimeanddidnotseetheriver.Hefeelssothirstythathereallywantstodrinkthewaterrightaway.

Suddenly,thecrowsawabottleontheground.Therewassomewaterinthebottle."Atlastthere'swatertodrink!"Thecrowflewhappilytothebottle.Thecrowreachedhismouthintothebottle,butthebottlemouthwastoosmall,andthewaterinthebottlewastoolowforthecrowtodrink.

Thecrowisinahurry.Howcanwedrinkwater?

Thecrowthought,"ifthebottleislower,itwilldrinkwater."Asthecrowthought,hepickedupastoneandknockeditoff."No,no,ifthebottleisbroken,thewaterwillrunaway."Thecrowthrewawaythepebbleandthought,"ifyoucanmakethewaterrisetothemouthofthebottle,"

Thecrowfiddledwiththepebblebesidethebottle,andsuddenlycameupwithagoodidea:putsomestonesinthebottle,andthewaterwillrise.Thecrowcamewithmanysmallstonesandcarefullyputthemintothebottle.Thewaterinthebottlegraduallyincreased.

Afterawhile,thewaterinthebottlerosetothemouthofthebottle,andthecrowwasveryhappy.Heopenedhismouthandhadabigdrink,coolandsweet,socomfortable.Thecrowtookthewingsanddrankthewaterwithabigmouth.Afterawhile,heputsomesmallstonesinthebottleandcontinuedtodrink.

Thecrowdrankthewaterandfeltstrongagain.He'sgoingtogoon!Afteralongflight,thecrowfinallycametoabeautifulplace.Thereareclearrivers,greentreesandbeautifulflowers.Thecrowisveryhappy.

有一年夏天，乌鸦的家乡非常干旱，他到处都找不到水喝。乌鸦决定搬到一个新地方，那里要有清澈的小河。乌鸦飞了很久，也没有看到小河。他觉得好渴呀，真想马上就喝到水。

突然，乌鸦看到地上有个瓶子，瓶子里有一些水。“终于有水喝了！”乌鸦开心地飞到瓶子旁边。乌鸦把嘴伸到瓶子里，可是瓶口太小了，瓶子里的水又太低，乌鸦怎么也喝不着。

乌鸦急得团团转，怎么才能喝到水呢？

乌鸦想：“如果瓶口再低一点儿，就能喝到水了。”乌鸦一边想，一边衔起一块石子，准备把瓶口砸掉。“不行，不行，万一瓶子被砸碎了，水就流走了。”乌鸦扔掉小石子，转念一想，“如果能让水升到瓶口，就好了。”

乌鸦拨弄着瓶子旁边的小石子，忽然想出了一个好办法：往瓶子里放一些石子，水就能升高了。乌鸦衔来很多小石子，小心地把他们放进瓶子里,瓶子里的水渐渐升高了。

不一会儿，瓶子里的水就升到了瓶口，乌鸦开心极了。他张开嘴巴，欢快地喝了一大口，凉凉的、甜甜的，真舒服！乌鸦拍着翅膀，大口大口地喝水。喝一会儿，他就往瓶子里放些小石子，然后继续大口喝水。

乌鸦喝完水，感觉自己又有力气了。他要继续向前飞啦！又飞了很久，乌鸦终于到了一个美丽的地方。这里有清澈的小河，还有绿绿的树木、漂亮的花朵，乌鸦开心极了。

1、《鹦雀笑鹏》

As the legend goes, during ancient times, in the expansive open country of North China, there was a kind of birds called "rocs".

The roc was very huge, with its back like a big mountain, and its wings like a stretch of cloud which could cover the sky. When it spread its wings, it could break through a storm and soar at a height of 90,000 li (1/2 kilometre) in the sky towards the sea in the south.

A small bird called the quail1 bounced on the ground, free and happy. It looked up at the roc soaring in the sky and couldn't help laughing: "Hey, see how cocky you are! Look at me, one jump can take me over 10 chi. How delightful2! Every day I come and go amid these weeds and thickets3 and fly freely. Don't I fly quite well too? But, where can you fly to anyway?"

译文：传说，古时候中国北方的原野上有一种鸟，它的名字叫“鹏”。

鹏长得很大，背脊像一座大山，翅膀像一大片云，能把天空遮住。它张开翅膀能冲破风暴，在九万里高的天空中飞翔，一直飞向南方的大海。

有一只叫鹦雀的小鸟，在地上蹦蹦跳跳，自由自在，非常快活。它望着天空中展翅飞翔的大鹏，忍不住发笑，说：“咳，看你神气活现的!我呀，一蹦一跳，就有十几尺，多么痛快啊!我每天在这些杂草和树丛里，来来去去，自由飞翔，不也飞得挺好吗?可是，你又能飞到哪里去呢?”

2、《骗猎遭黑》

The deer feared the leopard1 cat, the leopard cat feared the tiger, and the tiger the brown bear.

The brown bear resembled the fox but was bigger in size. It had long fur on its head, and could stand up like man. It had great strength and would devour2 man.

In the south of the State of Chu, there was a hunter good at ventriloquy. With a bamboo pipe he could imitate the cries of various kinds of wild animals.

Once, carrying his bow, arrows and firearms, he quietly went hunting in the mountain.

Up on the mountain, he first imitated the cries of the deer to lure3 the horde4 of deer to come over, so that he could shoot at them with the firearms. The leopard cat heard the cries of the deer and came running to devour the deer. The hunter was afraid of the leopard cat, so he hurriedly imitated the roar of the tiger to scare away the leopard cat. Hardly had the leopard cat been scared away when the tiger heard the roar and came. At this moment, the hunter was even more frightened, so he imitated the cries of the brown bear. As a result, the tiger was scared away like the leopard cat.

Then, when the brown bear heard the cries, it came to look for its companions. Seeing that it was a man, the brown bear at once struck him with its front paws, and tore him up with its teeth. In a short while, the hunter was torn to pieces and devoured5 by the brown bear.

译文：鹿害怕驱，驱害怕老虎，老虎害怕黑。

黑像狐狸，但是体形比较大。它头上披着长毛，能够像人一样站立起来，力气很大，要要吃人。

楚国南方有一个猎人口技很好。他会用竹管来模仿各种野兽的叫声。

有一次，他拿着弓箭和火器悄悄上山打猎。

上山以后，他先学鹿的叫声，想引诱鹿群过来，再用火器射猎。驱一听是鹿叫，就快步跑来想吃鹿。猎人害怕，急忙又学虎啸来吓走它。驱刚刚被虎啸吓跑，可是老虎却闻声赶到了。这时候，猎人更加害怕，于是就学黑叫。结果，老虎也像驱一样逃跑了。

后来，黑听见叫声，就来寻找同伴。刚走到前面，它一看是一个人，就立刻用前爪打他，用牙齿撕他，不一会儿，把猎人撕成碎块吃掉了。

3、《狼与鹤》

There is a bad wolf in the forest. One day he is eating a lamb. Suddenly a bone sticks in his throat.

“Oh, a bone is my throat.” He goes to see a doctor, “Please help me.” The doctor, Mr. Panda says, “Sorry, I can’t help you. The bone is inside.”

“What can I do?” the wolf is sad. Then he meets a crane. “Oh, dear crane. Please help me. A bone is in my throat. I will pay for your help.”

“Ok. Let me have a try,” the crane says. She pulls out the bone with her bill. “Now I will go. Remember your words. You should pay me,” she says.

“Well. Pay you. I remember,” the wolf says. With the words, the wolf bites off the crane’s neck and eats her up.

译文：

森林里有一只很坏的狼。一天，他正在吃一只羊羔.突然一根骨头卡在他的喉咙里了。

“哎呀，一根骨头卡在我的喉咙里了。”他赶忙去看医生， “请帮帮我吧。”医生熊猫先生说：“很抱歉，我帮不了你。骨头卡在里面。”

“我该怎么办啊?”狼伤心。后来他遇到一只鹤。“亲爱的鹤**，请救救我吧，一根头卡在我的喉咙里了。我会给你报酬的。”

“好吧。我试试看。”鹤**说。她用她的长嘴把骨头拉了出来。“现在我要走了。记住你的话，你该给我报酬的。”

“好的，给你报酬。”狼突然说，突然咬住鹤的长脖子，把她吃了。

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